I've been pondering this for a while, and have also gotten co-signs and high-fives on some of these, so here is my list of the Top Ten Things that Black Women Hate About Dating Brothers in D.C. Yes, this also
applies to those in the 'burbs.
1. Men with very limited cultural experiences. PLEEEASE expand your horizons and read a book, go to a museum, or check out The Grio or The Root every now and then so you have something to talk about other than ESPN, coontastic rappers, LeBron James, video games, and those folks that are "trippin'" at work.
2. We're not saying that you have to be office casual every time we go out, but can your Yankees/Nationals cap with a sticker on it and white tee be less of a constant in your weekend style repertoire?
3. Bad manners on the first date. We don't care who you are or how much money you have--we don't really know you yet. Show you have some home training. Sexual banter is really inappropriate at this point in time, and it shows a lack of conversational skill/imagination. Also, keep your hands on your side of the table.
4. When you are single and out at the club/lounge, don't expect women to come up to you. Having a degree or two doesn't make you special in Chocolate City. Be a man, man! Summon up your inner Morris Chestnut and give us a smile and a hello when we cross paths at the bar. And stop waiting until we are headed out the door to tap us on the shoulder. Special note to the buppie pegros--hanging out in small groups with your boys on one side of the venue the entire night, staring at women, is lame behavior more befitting of a middle-school dance. My friends and I have noticed this phenomenon one too many times at one particular upscale lounge on 14th Street... Why did you bother going out if you're not going to circulate?
5. Lack of creativity when it comes to planning dates. We don't want to do all of the work in determining where to go. Can you research something unique (and it doesn't have to be expensive) for at LEAST one outing a month? You may think otherwise, but The Cheesecake Factory, T.G.I.Friday's, and ghetto Chinese takeout are not the height of D.C.'s restaurant scene. It can even be a free event. Just show us that you want to keep things interesting and fresh.
6. If we've been going out for a while, and we invite you to church, can you try it just once? Don't act like you haven't been to church before. We wouldn't ask if we didn't care.
7. Don't keep us waiting. You know how long it takes to get to our place by now.
8. Leave your past in the past. We are not your evil ex. Contrary to what Jay-Z, Biggie or other rappers have claimed, we have no plans to trick you, trap you and drain your bank account. We have our own dinero, and prefer for our eggs to remain unfertilized until we get both rings, thanks.
9. We know you have the strongblackman thing going on, and we appreciate that. But can you COMMUNICATE?! Texts do not count. Tell us what's going on in your mind about the relationship, and anything that is really affecting you. You can only get the understanding and true support of your strongblackwoman if you are open and honest with us.
10. Why do men around here get snitty and infantile when we initiate the break-up? If it's just not working, and we tell you that in a respectful way, what's the problem?
Honorable Mentions: 1. Don't ask for our deets/cards if you are currently "occupied" and unable to fully follow up. 2. Traffic on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge. I suspect it has broken up more than a few MD/VA love affairs.