Regina King Was Robbed. Again.

Grr.  Do Emmy voters even know that "Southland" is on the air?!

© Glenn Francis, www.PacificProDigital.com via Creative Commons

The ONLY Black Reality Show Worth Watching

I regret to inform our nation's networks that generally, I couldn't care less about reality TV right now.  There's only one show that I'm watching regularly in that genre.

Good Job, BET. Now Keep It Up.

Relatively intelligent, scripted entertainment made for Black people, by Black people?  On BET?  Wow.  Just--wow.

"Undercovers" Cancelled

Cue the funeral dirge.

Told you to tune in.  Abrams & Co. were still figuring out exactly what they wanted the show to be (spy drama? romance? comedy?),  but it was getting better.

Anyway, Entertainment Weekly says that three more episodes will air through December 1, and possibly three more on dates to be determined.

Ya'll Done Jumped the Peach, the Kudzu, AND the Georgia Bowl

I loathe the tackiness of American pop culture right now.  I should be on a T.V. fast as we speak.  But somehow, I just can't look away from the country boughetto (bougie/ghetto--thanks, Kandi!) MARTA trainwreck that is the Real Housewives of Atlanta.

Yes, I am a pegro who happens to tune in to NeNe and company faithfully.  I justify this vice by viewing it as a tragic comedy, a morality play on the perils of believing one's hype and living beyond your means.  If Shakespeare were alive today, I'm sure he would find the drama from RHOA's six females a font of matchless inspiration.   Random thought:  Could you imagine Kim onstage in a Shakespearean play, huge velvet robes, cig in the side of her mouth, a goblet of mead in hand?  Priceless. 

Anyway, a few weeks ago, I contemplated doing a post for an RHOA drinking game.  Take a swig every time Sheree mentions her fashion line...two when she says the word "fabulous" in relation to herself...  But I thought this post would be much more useful as an official notice to our southern sisters that last Monday's episode was the zenith of too-muchery.  Ya'll done jumped the peach, the kudzu, AND the Georgia Bowl.  There has to be a meta-dense black hole forming over Fulton County.

First, what can one say about Phaedra's self-thrown baby shower???  I'll attempt to itemize the insanity.  Over 100 attendees, forced to wear their Easter best, including Baptist churchlady hats...a pompous female judge as emcee of the festivities, acting as if she were announcing the arrival of Queen Elizabeth and a raised-from-the-dead Princess Di...FOUR ballet dancers performing a commemorative piece...wedding-esque classical music...and, last but not least, the bride, I mean mother-to-be, eyelids bejewelled with rhinestones, random rosebuds scattered about her scalp and fake pony, performing some strange celebratory waltz with her unambiguously gay wedding shower planner--instead of her ex-con husband--while her castmates watched, mouths agape.  I guess the angels Dwight contacted to herald the blessed event were otherwise occupied.


Second, NeNe's nose job.  The queen of countrified self-esteem and calling everyone else out on their fakery (often in public, and very loudly, at that) gets a nose job just to cheer herself up?  Really?  Methinks she just ventured too far into the realm of #whitegirlproblems on this one, ensuring a downgrade to her platinum ghetto pass.

Third, Sheree's special friend, who isn't a boyfriend, but hasn't been dismissed yet.  Even so, you can't call them boyfriends when their scalp is winning the battle against their fade.  Shady, chauvinist, and just not cute.  What was she thinking? 

I don't have too much to say about Kim, and nothing to say about Cynthia and Kandi.  Kim's still her regular delusional self, back to justifying leeching off of married men.

In sum, the show needs something to rectify the ladies' fame-induced break with reality, or folks will change the channel.  Yes, I know that they've likely filmed the last ep of the season, but it had to be said.  It may be par for the game to be fake in "keeping it real," but some invisible line has been crossed.  My suggestion:  Send them on one of the girlfriend getaways as seen on the other RHs to get them away from the fishbowl of Atlanta foolishness.  Oh, and Phaedra should get the ax for next season...there isn't enough medication in the world to alleviate that swollen ego.  Hot air always equals dead weight.

Undercovers Gets a Reprieve (kinda)

Variety.com reports that Boris and Co. have been given the green light for four more episodes.

Don't get too excited.  The ratings now remain steady, but they are still lower than NBC originally envisioned. 

Although I was out at dinner (after being turned away from the Edwidge Danticat reading at Busboys--I should've known to get there 45 min earlier...) while it was on tonight, I will be watching it On Demand tomorrow.

"The Game" Finally Back in Production

Wow, this is a busy week for Black TV news.  The old CW favorite, "The Game," is FINALLY officially back in production in Atlanta.
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1118025231.html?categoryid=14&cs=1

It's been airing in reruns on BET since early 2009, and due to solid ratings--sometimes even better than experienced at the CW--BET's bringing the cast back for fresh drama.  In an interview on The Mo'Nique Show (don't judge me, but I had to see when they were coming back) a few months ago, Tia Mowry, who played Melanie, Derwin's neurotic medical student girlfriend, mentioned that all of the original cast members would be returning to the set.  We'll see if that's still the case--Coby Bell, who played Jason Pitts, the penny-pinching pro baller with a complicated relationship with his estranged wife, has a major role on USA's "Burn Notice." 
 

"Undercovers" Alert!

My people, my people...do you know how long it's been since we've seen two attractive and talented Black (or okay, biracial) stars playing the core, romantic leads in a show on a major network?

*crickets*

If you thought "The Cleveland Show," the D.R.O.P. Squad is already on its way to your house.

Okay, then.  Please be aware that "Undercovers'" ratings aren't very impressive right now.  You need to tune in or DVR it tonight on NBC at 8 PM.  Who knows when Black folks will get another intelligent show?

Yes, I know that it has a few issues, but stick with it--new shows sometimes take the better part of a season to really find their groove.

The action is great, and yes, I've said it before, Boris Kodjoe is verrrry easy on the eyes.  No disrespect to Mrs. Kodjoe.

In other TV news, it seems that the next major Black sitcom project will come to us courtesy of the Wayanses.  According to Variety.com, Damon Wayans is developing another family comedy for ABC.
http://weblogs.variety.com/on_the_air/2010/10/damon-wayans-back-in-the-abc-family.html

2010 Update on Lisa Turtle Syndrome

*flicks switch to let time-traveling blog post app warm up*

Oh, Lisa. Who didn't want your weave, fashion sense, upper-class buppie affluence and carefree SoCal lifestyle?

Back in the day, if I couldn't be at home in my Esleep jammies on a Saturday morning, I would set the playroom VCR to record your adventures with Zack, hottie Slater, Kelly and Jessie.  We all could've cared less about Screech.

Although I loved the show, I was disappointed that they couldn't find a long-term Black boyfriend for you. You were perennially on the outside looking in, fighting off Screech's affections, and commenting on your lighter counterparts' love affairs.

I racked my brain, but I only remember one brother that popped in to Bayside (for less than three episodes) to woo you.  You also had a brief fling with Jessie's shady stepbrother, but we're talking about a period of teenage hijinks that lasted half a friggin' decade if you count the Miss Bliss years!   I appreciate that in the latter days of the show, you finally got some love from Zack (my teenage self thought that hospital scene was hot!), but too little, too late.

Let me get to the point--I can't keep this time portal open too long.  I'm writing to let you know that in 2010, things haven't gotten any better for Black folks under 35 on the small screen. In fact, when it comes to depicting us in relationships with other Black folks, it's only gotten worse.

First of all, the five major networks have no shows with predominately Black casts.  I can't get over it either.  I think "Girlfriends" (ironically, don't get me started on Toni's short ex-husband) and "The Game"were the last watchable, halfway decent Black shows on TV.  Who would have thought that this would be the case when we have a biracial man in the Oval Office?

We usually show up in prime time as wisecracking sidekicks to White folks, often without real lives of our own.  When we are depicted in relationships, the characters are frequently stuck with "leftover" White characters in lazily conceived, poorly-written hookups that just don’t make sense.  Sometimes it seems like Black relationships are impossible because of an unspoken one-Black recurring-character limit on these shows.  Don't believe me?  Need proof?  See the following:

1.  Kellee Stewart, Stephanie on "My Boys."  Kellee is one to watch, making moves on the big screen, but here, she plays an author of a popular book on relationships who is a sidekick to a White female sportswriter.  Likely because the producers are too cheap to bring a brother on as her love interest, they have stuck her in a nonsensical relationship with said sportswriter's butt-ugly, balding, sports-memorabilia store-owning friend.  It is easy to understand why they have zero chemistry.  Poor Kellee.

2.  Amber Riley, Mercedes on "Glee."  Amber is the only celebrated Black actress under 30 on a major network.  We love her soaring, show-stopping vocals and her spunk.  Her teenage love life thus far?  An unrequited crush on her White gay BFF and a fake relationship with the cute Jewish bad boy on the show to help him increase his popularity.

3.  Tristan Wilds, Dixon on "90210."  Watched this a couple of times when nothing else was on...  Teenage loves so far?  White series regular, then a psycho older Black woman in her 20s who faked a pregnancy after multiple hookups, then a new, much-less-glamorous-than-her-peers, stringy-haired, tomboyish blond girl that doesn't quite make sense on the show.

4.  Katerina Graham, Bonnie on "The Vampire Diaries."  Love this show.  This Black BFF to the White heroine of the show is a teenage witch.  (side note:  They killed off Jasmine Guy as her grandma...)  Bonnie almost got vamped by her brief White love interest.  The only brother I remember on the show was a vampire former slave from the 1800s who behaved like he was still in chains. 

5.  Camille Winbush, Lauren on "The Secret Life of the American Teenager."  Once again, don't judge me!  I've seen a few eps because there's absolutely nothing on TV during my kitchen time!  Although I'm convinced that this ridiculous show on ABC Family is trying to turn America's daughters into complete whores, I'm glad that she at least gets the best-looking White guy on the show.  No brothers to be found in the mix.

6.  Jada Pinkett Smith, Christina Hawthorne on "HawthoRNe."  I hate to admit that I haven't watched more than 20 minutes of the show (zzz...I tried), but when I did check in, Christina, an RN, was dating an injured White doctor.
    
Jessica Lucas, Riley on "Melrose Place," and Gabrielle Union of "FlashForward" would have been added to the list of Black women in relationships with non-Black men on screen, but their shows have been cancelled.
I don't even want to bother discussing the Black folks with failed marriages and engagements on Private Practice and Grey's, which I stopped watching shortly after they gave Isaiah Washington the boot.  Side note:  Anybody else remember that they got rid of Dr. Bailey's husband in the blink of an eye?  He couldn't handle her career...that one's for you, Conspiracy Bunny.

To summarize, we don't see ourselves on screen in positive, loving relationships with actors who self-identify as Black and portray a Black character.   It bothers me to no end that a generation of little Black girls growing up in the 21st century don't have a Cliff and Clair, a Dewayne and Whitley, or at least a Martin and Gina.  Yes, their shows are in syndication, but it's not the same as seeing a contemporary Black relationship.  I also have to wonder if they are subconsciously receiving the message that relationships with non-Blacks are somehow preferred and more accepted by society.  I look at my younger cousins' choice of wives, girlfriends, and babymamas and have to wonder about the impact of post-Cosby TV on their lives.

Lisa, things have got to change.  But I close this time portal with a little optimism.  Regina King bravely spoke out our on our lack of representation at the Emmys, so hopefully this will lead to positive changes in the industry.  Also, Boris Kodjoe is hitting your old network as a sexy spy married to a Black (yay!) fellow spy in "Undercovers" later this month.
 Thank God.

Au revoir for now.

P.S.  Do Slater's dimples taste as delicious as they look?  Just asking.